Losing.

It's never easy losing someone. It has always been a very hard and painful phase of life. When I think about losing, I think about missing pieces in my life. When I think about losing, I feel that my heart is slowly losing its ability to do what it does best: to pump blood. 

Those who have lost someone will say one same thing; it hurts like hellbent on Earth. Nothing feels right until you've found some sort of remedy or distraction that enables you  to forget momentarily. Because that's what humans do best: distracting themselves from the inevitable pain. No one wants to be headfirst with that kind of pain; it's overwhelming and harrowing. 

And losing something or someone you love is not just the physical absence, it's what that comes to your mind  every single second you think of them. The physical absence reminds you of things never last, and the one that causes all of the afflictions is the emotional absence. 

You lose them whenever you sit alone in a cafe and seeing couples in front of you. You lose them whenever you hear their favorite songs on the radio. You lose them in the coldness of the night and they are not there to kiss you goodnight. You lose them when you think about hugging them and feeling the warmth of their body. You lose them when you wake up on Monday mornings and knowing Mondays will suck. You lose them when you remember their laughter. You lose them when you come to realize how badly you need them in your life at this very moment but they are not there. 

Worst of all, you lose them over and over again, and that it's an everyday thing. Losing someone could only end with two things: you move on & fix every broken pieces in you with whatever strength you have left, OR you soak every single atom of you in melancholy & analyzing every single components of your life on where you have done wrong.

You feel happiest whenever you are with them, and you like holding on to that feeling. It gives you comfort knowing that you are capable of feeling happy with someone you care about. But what happens once they are gone? 

Then you lose them all over again. But this time, it's different. Because you know you can never have them the way you want them to. 

Because having met the right person is utterly intoxicating and stupendous. 

But having met the right person at the wrong time is utterly devastating.