Monday, December 29, 2014

My 2014.

Dear you,

I love you. I love you to the point of insanity. I love you above all uncertainties and the right things in life. 

I will never be able to tell you this, because there is no way you will understand what I feel for you. I have always wanted to tell you that you are the one I have dreamed of, and the one I have always wanted to love. But I cannot, simply because you have no room for me in your heart. 

You keep teasing me about the boy whom I have once mentioned to be The Ideal Guy for me. That was before I met you. Before I knew you existed and way before I found out how safe I felt in your strong arms. 

When he ruined me with his indecisiveness and selfish acts, you were there to watch me pick myself up and nurse myself back to sanity. I was a total wreck, and yet you stayed by my side. 

Now, I want to tell you I have finally found my destination, and my journey to you has been a thunderstorm masked in a sunny weather. But I am not your destination and your journey has a different path than mine. I cannot tell you that, and I cannot tell you that you are my home. 

What's a home when the resident and the owner are two different people? I am your resident, and you are the owner. My occupancy is only on rental basis, and someday I will have to move out and leave no trace of me behind. But I would always look back and think of the home I once knew and lived in. 

So, I will only smile whenever you say that you are not my ideal guy. God knows how false that is. I fight with you and argue even about the smallest things, not because I am bored or I have nothing to do. It's because I am afraid of losing you. Terribly and deathly afraid of losing someone like you. 

I give my all to you; my time, my attention, my affection and my love. Sometimes, I become cold and distant, not because I am egocentric, but because I cannot tell you how much I need you without sounding clingy. I don't want you, I need you. 

But you are not my home, and I am not your destination. So, we can never walk the same path and finally meet halfway. 

I love you, and I have to let you go someday. 

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“Apa-apa komen, permintaan, cadangan atau komunikasi lain yang lucah, sumbang, palsu, mengancam atau jelik sifatnya dengan niat untuk menyakitkan hati,menganiayai, mengugut atau mengganggu orang lain; atau memulakan suatu komunikasi dengan menggunakan mana-mana perkhidmatan aplikasi, sama ada secara berterusan, berulang kali atau selainnya, dan dalam masa itu komunikasi mungkin atau tidak mungkin berlaku, dengan atau tanpa mendedahkan identitinya dan dengan niat untuk menyakitkan hati, menganiayai, mengugut atau mengganggu mana-mana orang di mana-mana nombor atau alamat elektronik, adalah melakukan suatu kesalahan, tindakan boleh diambil”.


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