Tuesday, June 04, 2013

When will it ever be enough?

"What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be."

I've never really thought of those words until recently. Yes, it really does kill you when you think of all the things that could've been for you. 

It amazes me how much a person can feel at one time, and it is so terrifying that most of the times, you are completely helpless. I tell myself that 2013 is the year of possibilities, and yes, it is possible that you could love someone with all of your might and it's still never enough.

It's possible to look at someone you love and you feel so much adoration & love for him, but you have absolutely no clue on how to be with him. It's possible to fall in love with him over and over, no matter how many times you tell yourself not to. 

It's also possible for you to want to leave everything for someone, leaving the pieces of you behind because you know that this is exactly where you choose to be. It's also possible to lie awake at night and wonder if everything you were doing was worth the shot. 

It's possible to be angry at yourself for all the decisions you make, and that this anger & sadness consume you slowly. It's possible for you to ignore every signs & pursue the very things that hurt you. It's possible that people will begin to feel frustrated & stop caring about you because they think you're just being ridiculous. 

It's also possible for you to do the things you've sworn you'd never do in your life. It's possible that you know things are never right but you keep wanting them to be right, just for once. 

And then you get burned, you get hurt, and that is the kind of pain that takes the longest time to heal. Yet you still want to stand close to that fire and never leave.

And most of all, it is also possible even your closest friend can never fill in the voids that are left by someone you love. 

Because love is never enough. It never will be enough.

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